Xiaoqing

This girl (on the left) has decided to get facial surgery so that her face looks just like Jessica Alba's. She did a really good job picking out that wig, but she's really going to have to narrow that nose. And that skull.

"A month ago, Xiaoqing left her boyfriend, because his Alba obsession became too much for her. But now she says she can't get over the breakup and wants him back." The obsession consisted of "adorning THEIR apartment with Alba's photographs and talking about her constantly."

I guess that's better than if he was cheating on Xiaoqing. But how do you talk about Jessica Alba CONSTANTLY? What does that even sound like? Constantly raving about Jessica Alba to your girlfriend is a "People Who Bother Us Big Time" story by itself. Then the story gets grossly compounded that the girl in this relationship decides she better become Jessica Alba, and fast.

The funny thing is in one way she's right. If you want to increase your chances of getting the best things in life, you have to put in effort. Making your face better looking is a great move for a woman. Even if this guy who she's doing this for dumps her a month later, she'll still be walking around looking like Jessica Alba.

Maybe then she'll be able to attract a real man who loves her for who she is? Even though she won't be who she really is anymore?

Guarantee you this bitch ultimately marries for the yuan.

Kim Yoo-chul and Choi Mi-sun

Couple Starves Real Child While Raising Virtual One

The real baby was 3 months old and didn't even have a name. The virtual baby was named Anima. This is the ultimate in not having your priorities straight.

Hopefully, this is also the ultimate in natural selection. Although generally innocent, the child is still guilty of being the offspring of these two people. The child didn't survive, and the parents probably don't have any more children. The bloodline ends, and the genetic inferiorities that created this situation do not further pollute the gene pool.

In related events, a 28 year old man dropped dead after playing Starcraft for 50 hours non-stop without eating or drinking.

And another gamer, enraged that an opponent had killed the character he had put so much effort into creating, quickly found out his adversary's location through a chat built into the game, took a taxi across town, and stabbed him.

I am now officially excused for playing SOCOM at 6 AM with strangers who are going nowhere in life. I always said that video games are a drug. "Some people get high, and it's acceptable. Other people get high and go rob First Federal." -Mr. Cheeks

Stefanie Woods

This girl actually had an accomplice, but since Stephanie did all the dumbass talking, I'm going to focus on her. She robbed a 9 year old girl who was selling girl scout cookies for about $150.

They got caught because they stuck around to like buy Starbucks, and whatever else they don't really need. You see them in their news interview getting into their Jetta, which we all know is the car of choice for the imbecilic suburban wannabe-teen wannabe-whore.

Highlights from her interview (which was extremely short to be producing this much good shit):

"Who doesn't like money? I mean, I don't know."

The reporter asks, "Do you have any remorse about stealing from a 9 year old girl?" Stephanie responds "I mean right now, no. I'm kind of pissed because I have charges, and we have to give the money back anyway."

"I know it's a crime, but it was an easy crime."

"I'm not sorry. I'm just pissed that I got caught."

"We went through all that effort to get it, we got these charges, and we had to give the money back. I'm kind of pissed."

Brianna Broitzman and Ashton Larson

Yeah I got that picture from one of their Myspace pages. Don't fuck with me- I do my research.

So these 2 are bored doing their jobs at a nursing home, so they start abusing Alzheimer's patients.

It is charged that Broitzman poked one resident's breasts, spit into the mouth of another elderly person, and "put her bare butt" in the face of another elderly person. For her part, Larson allegedly once "inserted her finger into a resident's rectum" and spit water on another "vulnerable adult." She also has been accused of bathing a male resident in a deliberately rough way so the elderly man would get an erection.

Who knows what else they were doing to them. From what I understand they were picking on people who can barely talk, and can't remember anything, so I'm sure there's more to these allegations. Personally, this story turns me on, so they don't really bother me. But this blog is for the people, and they seem to have bothered the majority of people big time.

Melissa Arrington

A lot of people are annoying, and a lot of people fuck up. But to me, this girl is semi-historic for it. While driving drunk with a suspended license for a previous DUI, she went off the road and killed a guy on a bike.

Everyone figures this is a stupid accident, and she was looking at about 4 years in jail. But she gets on the jailhouse phone one day (which by law warns you it's being recorded before you start talking), and this man on the other end says she "should get a medal and a parade because she took out a fucking tree hugger, a bicyclist, a Frenchman, and a gay guy all in one shot." Melissa laughs at this. When the man says he knows it was a terrible thing to say, Melissa responds "no it's not."

So the judge gives her the maximum of 10.5 years. And we all know women don't age very well even when they are sitting there being spoiled.

I saw that the majority of people think she is ugly, but I see this woman as someone who was capable of making herself and her man very happy. That family is completely destroyed by her idiocy.